10. I’m not saying each early voter gets a free cheeseburger, but I’m not saying they don’t either.

9. It’s vastly more effective than voting late.

8. You know who votes early? People with a backbone like a ramrod.

7. In a less crowded polling center, there’s plenty of room to stretch out, linger and relax.

6. If you vote early you don’t have to pay taxes. I’m sorry I’m being told that’s not accurate.

5. Single and looking to mingle? Find that special someone in the early voting booth.

4. Of course, there’s the open bar.

3. Not exercising your right to vote is malarkey – it’s literally malarkey.

2. Early voters will receive a $5 million donation from Donald Trump.

1. Honestly, don’t you want this election over with already?